on hold

Been on hold with social services for the last two hours. Typed that and laughed. I have honey and cayenne breath– hot toddy — and what is either an ear infection, withdrawal from my happy pills, or both. I’m in that place of intense stress, horniness, anxiety, and extended sleeplessness wherein the best possible self-care plan is to fist fuck myself and then sleep for three hours.

But– on hold. Two hours in I no longer like piano instrumentals. Piano instrumentals, in fact, make me want to heave up spurts of hot bile. So does withdrawal from my happy pills.

We may still be moving. We may still have food stamps and healthcare. Isn’t that a blast? So much uncertainty I could just shit.

 

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