Rejections out of the blue.

Sometimes I forget that I submitted to somewhere. Sometimes I don’t remember said somewhere even when, say, they email me a rejection.

But! It was a personal rejection. Lately I get lots of personal rejections, with reassurances and encouragement to try again.

Sometimes I wish that I got colorful rejections. Like, an email that just has this meme in it:

or has a little button that says “WAHN-wah” when you click on it.

My favorite rejection ever was from Ampersand Review. I wrote my cover letter like a legal document, full of WHEREAS’; they responded in kind.

My least favorite rejections have come from Saltwater Quarterly, Fringe, and Used Furniture Review. Swift, dull, and redundant, their dismissals always leave me feeling slightly shamed, like I was just spanked.

I usually like getting spanked, but not by people so insincerely polite.

Now I save my especially colorful cover letters for them.

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